May 18, 2009
Fly away with freedom :)
I write this post not out of frustration, but out of sheer understanding of WHAT I AM. It might surprise you guys but it took me time to make myself understand that rather than being sad because I am not the sort of person that my friends want me to be, I should understand that if 5 or 6 people hate me, I have a 100 more to love me for what I am!
You say I am to be blamed if I don't fit in properly into a so-called extraordinary group of yours? I don't think I should be blamed after all for what I think you all did to me! When will some people understand that I cannot be like them? If you think I don't match up to your standards, its alright! After all no one is that dependent on anybody! Right??
You cannot blame Usha Utthup for not singing like Shreya Ghoshal, can you?? Nor can you blame Romesh Powar for not playing like Sachin Tendulkar! Right?? Hah! How dumb!! And I kept blaming myself for it all this while.
Sometimes it is just so better to let go of things.
We have a habit of clinging on to things. We indulge so much in emotions that we somehow turn our backs to practicality! Emotions are good, but not at the expense of hurting yourself. People may not necessarily understand you all the time - why you did it, what you did etc. We, for that matter at least I, always think of giving it one more try - one more try to strike a chord with the other person, one more try to keep him/her happy, but all I end up doing is getting hurt and still getting up to give it a try ONE MORE TIME! It is better at times to realize that you are not the one for this. I can't let someone rule on me!
I have been a philanthropist all my life, but now I feel the need to change! I want to live for myself, my family and the ones whom I love. I don't want to be hurt all the time when I am trying so hard to bring a smile to your face!
Life is tough, a lot more tougher for me now! I have to take every expectation in my stride and I have to fulfill them! I might disappoint a few, but that would always have a reason!
I always wondered Why ME? May be certain things are better left unanswered. And that is what life teaches you! Take everything that comes your way...disappointments, happiness, love, failures, success, pain...everything! Set yourself free...! Trust me on this...you will only see yourself changed for the better! :)
P.S.: You might end up feeling that I am oh so sad, but duh!! You are wrong! I am so very happy that I rediscovered so many things about myself!