As any normal person complains, I too have my set of complaints. I do think and brood over them. I do cry thinking about my problems. I do suddenly feel the urge to do something that would bring all my problems to an end and I do admit that I have a habit of 'sometimes' blaming someone else for my problems. It is a matter of shame that in the last few months, I have blamed my parents for the problems I face.
I know that what I felt, was the biggest mistake I did ever in my life. Last night there was one surprise in store for me. My dad called. No, that is not the surprise I was talking about. My dad called and he was talking to mom. While talking about other things, there was one thing he said, "We earn quite a good income, and inspite of that I have never done anything for my daughter. Every time I plan to do something for her, God gives me some problem or the other." My mom told me that he sounded to be in pain.
I could not sleep last night. Realization dawned on me. I really did think abour how hard he works to bring us out of all the problems we are going through. I have never done anything for him. I 'work' or may be just pretend to do so for the sake of it. But I hardly care of my work brings any returns or not. I have been living an awful meaningless life. I have just blamed my dad all this while. I have never helped him.
But, that soul (My Father) has always taught me lessons...those lessons which has only got me better.
I am sorry dad to have let you down till date. I promise to work hard. I promise to hear it one day from you that you are proud of me. After all that happened yesterday, I can just say one thing -
'Expect the worst and the best is yet to happen.'
Last week I wrote a post. I promised to speak the truth for a week. Trust me guys, it was difficult... way too difficult. I did try my best. And to my surprise I could manage it well. But I did fail... three times in that week. Still, I learnt the art of being honest.
This week, am not putting the blame on anybody for anything. I am going to take the responsibility for my actions...whether good or bad. Even if the worst happens, it is only going to make me strong and capable of handling everything that comes my way.
Best Wishes,
Nyx!